How to Control Your Destiny

We can lead life like a bottle on the ocean: tossed high up in the air with a wave of elation one moment, and plunging to the depths of depression as the wave inevitably loses steam and crashes.

On the other hand, we can try and stay on a more even keel, and try and control our destiny ourselves.

Can we control anything?

Yes and no.

If we want to map out our entire lives and have everything turn out just the way we plan it, we are likely to be disappointed.

Why? Because results are not under our control.

So what is under our control?

Karma, or action

For as long as we live, we are forced to act. At a minimum, we breathe, eat, and drink. Some of our actions are reflex and involuntary. Others are voluntary. And that is just about all that we can control: our own voluntary actions.

We cannot control other people, or their actions. We should not even try, because that will only lead to frustration.

Is that enough?

Yes, it is.

Actions combine to result in what we call destiny. Sometimes it happens right away. Occasionally, it takes time, even years or decades, so much so that we can even forget the linkage between what is happening now to us, and what we did years ago to make today’s events possible.

So if we want to control our destiny, even to some extent, we should control our actions.

How are actions produced?

Thoughts beget actions, at least the voluntary actions. Even involuntary actions, which we often do without thinking, are born as a result of previous thoughts, leading to repeated practice, leading to habit formation, and automatic action. A classic example is driving a car, or using chopsticks to eat.

The truly reflex actions, like a knee-jerk in response to a light tap below the knee cap, are not under the influence of thoughts.

Thought control

Obviously, if thoughts produce actions, controlling our destiny, action control must begin with thought control. This, however, is easier said than done.

There is a cacophony out there

We are nearly always thinking of something or the other. Often times, these thoughts come and go so rapidly that we are not even aware of them. We are so wrapped up in the business of living that we forget to truly live.

We are also drowning in noise. This often prevents us from “hearing us speak to ourselves.” You can read more about it in our previous post http://goo.gl/8jwd9J.

Listen to the silence

If you turn off the outside noise, and reduce the “internal noise,” you are likely to become more aware of your thoughts.

Deep breathing/yoga

Several yoga asanas and practices focus on slow, deep breathing. The shavasana is one of them, and you can read about it in our previous post http://goo.gl/CmNHtH.

This practice of breath control and stress control slows down the storm of thoughts we are all subject to, and allows us to focus on our thoughts in a calm and more relaxed manner.

Impulse control

As you practice yoga and deep breathing, you will find yourself becoming less impulsive.

We often get into trouble when we act in the heat of the moment, without thinking something through. Someone insults us, we get angry, and burst forth in a stream of abuse, which does nobody any good.

At that moment, if we, instead, take a step back mentally, restrain ourselves, and take several deep breaths, focusing only on the breathing, we will find our anger abating. We are then more likely to avoid an outburst, think rationally, and act in a much more constructive and civilized way.

Don’t worry

A lot of our irrational actions are the result of worrying about things which may never come to pass. This fills our minds with negative images and thoughts. Such muddled thinking results in actions we often regret later.

Deep breathing, and yoga, can help allay unnecessary anxiety and worry, and turn your thinking in a more positive direction. Your actions then will be more productive, and you will not waste your energy and time just spinning your wheels.

Mindful meditation

This is a technique of meditation, breathing, and thought control which is becoming more and more popular for stress control and also for improving your quality of life.

This focuses on mindfulness, on observing your thoughts, and on being aware of yourself as well as of the environment. This leads to clarity of thought and action, with resultant inner peace.

Be aware of the moment

We are often guilty of living in the past or the future. We tend to re-live our successes or failure from the past in our minds. When we are not doing that, we start worrying about what will happen in the future. In the process, we neglect the present. But life is lived in the present. That is all we have. The past is history. The future may or may not occur.

Live in the present

This is one of the basic principles of mindful meditation.

Turn your focus inward, and observe your thoughts. Don’t judge them. Just be aware of them. They will come and go. Let them. Also be aware of your breathing. With practice, you might get to a state where you could have periods where there will be no thoughts in your mind. If that happens, good. If it doesn’t happen, even that is okay.

Peace

This awareness of the present and examination of thoughts, and periods of no thoughts, is likely to shape your actions and your destiny.

This is the foundation of an abiding peace.

Why don’t you start your journey today? And please do share your experiences.